Today I actually tried dressing like a guy for a bit, just for the feel of it. It was just around the house, and I quickly put the girl clothes on when it was time for work, but it kind of felt nice to look at myself in the mirror and finally think “I don’t have to look like a girl.”
I realize now that’s something I’ve struggled with my whole life. Looking at myself, with my curvy body and boyish face and wonder what is so wrong with me that I can’t look like a girl. I suppose if I put make up on and did my hair right, and felt more girly, I’d be girlier. Hell, even without the makeup I’ve been able to look in the mirror and see a girl. But most of the time I don’t. And today, I put on a pair of boxer-briefs, under a pair of baggy pants, and a tight sports bra under my baggiest shirt, and I looked at myself in the mirror and I though, “that’s who I am right now. And I’m perfectly comfortable with myself.”
So maybe I’m gender-fluid. Not gonna label myself with anything yet, but…I liked who I saw today.